Lapse, Relapse, Drink or Drugs, Food or Gambling?
You have done so well. Set a goal of not using, and achieved it. Then, a lapse, you fall and crash. Shocked, disappointed, you could stay down. Or you could look to your values and grow.
The cyclists may have a goal, to win the race. They may have values. To be hard working, competitive, a team contributer, yet they fall of the bike.
No personal values really kick in. As a cyclist, am most values consistent if I get back on my bike and cycle. Sure it hurts, sure it was a mistake, an accident, an event. As a cyclist, I accept the spills and keep cycling, or I do not.
So, you have lapsed. Gone back to it. Sure you are hurting. (we only hurt if we care). Reflecting you may notice that your own mind was the architect of the relapse.
Until your own thoughts started up again. Get better, feel better, so maybe I can have one. Or maybe, do not feel better, what’s the point, might as well have one, or any other version of a million self stories that result in a drink, and off we go again.
Our brains are great at storytelling, and they do not unlearn anything, even it is not in your best long term interests. Lapse?Time to fine-tune. Learn from it.
Going back to fusion and defusion, you learn from the lapse. It is a messenger on how to fine-tune your freedom to be abstinent.
Do not waste it this lapse.
Often becoming abstinent is a goal. That is useful but limited. When abstinence is a personal choice and chosen life value, then it is forever. As a value, a personal chosen value, then it comes with no special extras, rather just a baseline that is aligned with ones desired rich and meaningful life.
Learn the power of Values using ACT – Acceptance Commitment Therapy at RedChair with Bill Stevens
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